12 Reasons I Don't Want to See War Horse

1. I'm a cat person.

2. Weinstein threw out my 40 page treatment for Peace Horse.  I'm still bitter.

3. Saw the play.  Thought I was going to see Daniel Radcliffe in Equus.  Was very disappointed!

4.  Hot to Trot is the only horse-related movie I'll ever need.

5. Sooo not interested in World War I unless Maggie Smith is there tartly quipping.

6. Awaiting a Metallica video in which the horse becomes a blind, deaf, and mute quadraplegic.

7. What the hell did Kristen Stewart do to her face?!  Oh...ooooooh.  Sorry.

8. I preferred the original title, We Brought a War Horse.

9. Tree of Life RUINED me for movies without symbolic dinosaurs.

10. If I want to see a movie about Britain and a powerful beast, I'll see The Iron Lady.

11. Fassbender's not in it?  Then why are we still talking about this?  Let's watch Jane Eyre again!

12. I'm still all cried out from Chipwrecked.