12 Reasons I Don't Want to See War Horse
1. I'm a cat person.
2. Weinstein threw out my 40 page treatment for Peace Horse. I'm still bitter.
3. Saw the play. Thought I was going to see Daniel Radcliffe in Equus. Was very disappointed!
4. Hot to Trot is the only horse-related movie I'll ever need.
5. Sooo not interested in World War I unless Maggie Smith is there tartly quipping.
6. Awaiting a Metallica video in which the horse becomes a blind, deaf, and mute quadraplegic.
7. What the hell did Kristen Stewart do to her face?! Oh...ooooooh. Sorry.
8. I preferred the original title, We Brought a War Horse.
9. Tree of Life RUINED me for movies without symbolic dinosaurs.
10. If I want to see a movie about Britain and a powerful beast, I'll see The Iron Lady.
11. Fassbender's not in it? Then why are we still talking about this? Let's watch Jane Eyre again!